Stay At Home Dads, breaking the Stereotype

Recently watched a CNN news article about all the out of work and stay at home Dads that were having a hard time making it work. The article set light on the fact that these Dad's were sometimes treated as outcasts or stereotyped that the man should be the bread winner in the family.


Since 1996 after an 8 year stint in the ARMY as an active duty Saxophone player I've been basically a stay at home dad. I've worked several jobs yes but nothing in the "bread winner" category. Prior to my divorce in 2005 my wife was the main bread winner. What I had found was there was really nothing that I wanted to do more than to be able to be there for my family. I wanted to be the one that could show up at school functions, or pick up and take to dance lessons etc. I feel this has shaped the relationship between myself and my daughter more than anything. I guess I'm her "steady"-- the person that's always there when needed.

I've been the lonely man at many a dance recital where it was mostly moms. Good thing I'm not shy, I've had many an interesting conversation with other moms.

Where I think the article lacks is the fact that many dads can get more done. They can cook, clean, mow the yard, change oil in the cars, help with homework and be a positive role model for children in a world where the father is often times absent.

There is a great book that Dave Ramsey recommends called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.  This book is a great place to find answers for those new stay at home dads. The companion book to this is Boys Should Be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons by Meg Meeker as well.

If your a stay at home dad, put these 2 books on your summer reading list.

If there is ever a better time to become a stay at home dad now is the time. There are many areas that stay at home dads could put a positive impact on the family unit. Some of these include, finding ways to reduce expenses, networking in the local area, volunteering, as well as maybe starting that dream job you've always wanted to do.

There has never been a better time for guys to start a new career. For a couple years after my Army Career I bounced around from several part time jobs, I went to school, until one day I stumbled upon my dream job. I had always wanted to have my own business. Being a stay at home dad allowed my the time to do things that most people don't have the time or the energy to do. I was able to learn new skills (on my own mind you) like basic HTML, networking, sales, and business development. Setting off on my new found career gave me the motivation to keep on going, and working toward being financially independent by the time I was 40.

I have never followed the stereotypical stay at home dad. I've been able to go out during the day when my children were in school working when I could and being there for them. It is my hope that maybe a stay at home dad, that isn't feeling so happy out being at home reads this. Maybe they too could make the change of a life time as well as impact the lives of those that matter most--their children. Besides that learning the new skills of starting and operating a "home based business" could give that stay at home dad the ability to once again be the bread winner.

Since my divorce in 2005 I've been able to continue to be a stay at home dad and with a teenager being able to keep the bill collectors at bay is no easy feat. With the help of Dave Ramsey and The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness I was able to reduce my expenses, increase my income and still be there for her.  I have been the custodial parent since 2007. And I have many a gray hair to prove it. 

In the future as my daughter is about to graduate I feel like I'm in a great position to be able to continue to impact and give support to her. Since I won't be a stay at home dad any longer I will have to reclassify as a Financially Independent Home Business Owner. I'm looking forward to the day, when I can leave town for as long as I want, travel with the people that I want and work with as well as enjoy life like others only dream of. Like Dave Ramsey says. "I've lived like no other, so that now I can live like no other."

Please feel free to comment on my article. If you have a stay at home dad story, please share it.

In closing as I have been able to be the stay at home dad, I've also finished a career in the National Guard with over 21 years of service, I've bought my own home as well as saved for retirement, and have a good emergency savings. While I'm not quite debt free yet, its on my list of accomplishment in the next few years.

Wish me luck.

Michael Sparks--Entrepreneur